Why was it, every time I took this journey, it was foggy outside? Again, crossing the Chain Bridge. It was a necessary journey I had to make. Somewhere out there, either God or a high official, defined the word partner. I had to live up to that definition. This trip brought out memories of what started it all.
If I attended the academy, then it was possible I could find a place there. I was all for doing that. There was always a place to start and a chance to work up the ladder. Going to the academy wouldn’t guarantee that, but it offered a way to get more information than what I had before.
After ninety days, I graduated. Not with perfect scores, but I made it. The way this place worked was this. It wasn’t a huge country wide federal agency. We had four offices in total, with our goal being to investigate or offer assistance to whomever needed it. Hence the name The Office of Special Investigations.
I started off being a grade level one. That rank was the very bottom. Elsewhere it might mean something else, but here, it was the very bottom. The work was paperwork. If it had to do with paperwork, chances were, we had it somewhere. So what? It’s an office. What did you expect? I couldn’t remember how many people asked me that question. It was a lot.
Nathanael got me into this line of work. We sort of ran into each other at the train station when I first moved to Virginia, and he needed someone to play Mrs. Nathanael Charlamagne. I was it.
He was taller than I was with sunny-blonde hair, and a sort of summer blue eyes. His hair reached his shoulders, and it never looked like he shaved any. Of course there was the potbelly.
I stood up to his shoulders with brown hair and brown eyes. While both of us had the same skin color, we didn’t look like we matched any. I always imagined a married couple matching. Well, it had to be done so I tried to make the best of it.
When that was all said and done, he told me there was always a need for good people.
I took that challenge. I graduated. It was policy that everybody had a partner. Good, bad, or indifferent. I thought mine would be Nathanael. God, was I wrong. Instead I got somebody named Obade Carrow. Tall, bald, and black with a deep voice.
It’s not a problem if someone was a different race than I was. We lived in America. There was going to be a lot of different people. The only thing I was happy about was the fact he spoke. Everything else… well… maybe I better explain which might help tell why I hated that bridge. At least one of the reasons.
I cooked for him: breakfast, midday meal, and the last meal of the day. I had to get everything from across the bridge and that was not easy traffic. Of course, he learned the art of sleeping with his eyes open. One never knew if he was indeed awake. That left me to do the work.
As a grade level one, I couldn’t do the investigation. That would’ve been up to Obade, but since he slept all day and night, I had to. The consequences of not doing it would’ve been three days spent at home without pay. Well hey, that meant a vacation, and since I’m at such a low level, I couldn’t get into trouble. No. During those days, it was expected that a proper apology letter would be written by both agents, and then presented to the board. If they didn’t like it, it had to be rewritten until they did like it.
What did all of this mean? What did all of this lead up to? How Nathanael and I got together and that tragic time in our life.
He had Avery as his partner at the time. I remembered one conversation they had while I walked a few steps behind them. I remembered it word for word even though I had no idea what that conversation was about. I didn’t know if it happened or they were rehashing old memories.
“Morning was a whole mess,” Avery said. “Housing tried to pull a Bravo‑level sweep again. Same nonsense as last quarter.”
“Bravo?,” Nathanael said. “That’s generous. Looked more like a Delta‑grade scramble. Nobody had their ducks in formation.”
“Figures,” Avery said. “Did you ever get that 1348 sorted?”
“Eventually,” Nathanael said. “Had to chase down a missing signature — classic ghost‑trail maneuver. Whoever filed it must’ve been asleep at zero‑six.”
On that conversation went. It spanned the whole way from the entry door and on down the hallway.
One day, I was in the Agents’ Information Area and they walked in. They laughed and carried on with a conversation I couldn’t even guess. I shrugged my shoulders and went on to the Boardroom to update the Board of Directors about the latest file they gave me. OK. I didn’t do the updating. Obade did that.
Then that day happened. Avery pushed Nathanael into the supervisor’s office. I never knew what an evil smile looked like until I saw Nathanel’s as he closed the blinds. He looked right at me as he did that. I didn’t know what they were talking about, but between the thuds and the raised voices it had to be something big.
Avery stormed out of the office with tears in her eyes. We were never friends to begin with so it didn’t matter.
What mattered was Nathanael. He looked at me as he snapped his fingers one at a time with a single clap in the end. I learned later it was a habit he picked up when he got angry.
Of all the people in my life, the one person I regretted ever meeting was my ex-husband Glenn King. He had a small stash worth about three-quarters of a million dollars in the Cayman Islands.
He offered me the Cayman account to stay with him. He needed help taking care of his so-called inventory. I couldn’t do it. Those innocent bundles. I never had a quiet night’s sleep. I could never get passed the sound of pain as they expressed how they felt.
He was the reason I was nicknamed cyborg woman. If it wasn’t for the help the Domestic Violence Safety Train gave me, I wouldn’t be up and around at all. I would still be lying down somewhere. Not being able to talk, see, hear, or move at all. Wishing I was dead.
I kept tabs on Glenn. I knew where he was and what he was doing. If Nathanael wanted to go down with glory, I had the means to do that.
Oh no, he never said it. How could I tell? It was in the number of cases he turned down. He never told me why, only that it wasn’t in the best interest of the office that the case be solved by any of the agents. That gave me an idea.
I put together all of the information I had on Glenn, put it in a folder, marked it as official, and left it on Nathanael’s desk. That information included the Cayman account number, and that mysterious string of numbers with Luxembourg printed on it. I thought if he had that, he might be able to take down the most evil man in existance.
I remembered walking into his office as he opened the folder. The next thing I knew he was jumping up and down as if he was so excited, and he didn’t know how to expell all of that energy.
I made it into the boardroom to find out if there would be anything else. There was nothing else, because Obade died during the night of a heart attack. I put it in the back of my mind to look into later.
I walked into Nathanael’s office right on time. That was my assignment for the day. After a minute, I went to the coffee maker to make the coffee. Why they didn’t have a Keurig I never asked. About the same time I turned it on, Nathanel came in.
“OK. Look Rookie. I just got a big case. OK? I don’t need no ground level friggin’ idiots messing things up. What I need is a loft that looks modern and expensive. I need a car to fit. A wardrobe that would impress the friggin’ Mr. President. Let me know when you got those. You can get those right? Of course you can. Even a friggin’ idiot can do it.”
I didn’t say anything. I didn’t need to. I had everything he wanted so all I had to do was get it.
When I got home, I found the keys to that condo I had. I was going to sell it. I didn’t need it or want it anymore. I couldn’t even remember why I bought it. To me it looked like a warehouse with big windows. Tall windows with white walls and concrete flooring. The industrial look didn’t suit me.
I stored something else in a warehouse. I kept the great one covered to keep the dust off. I only drove it enough to keep it alive. There was that abandoned racetrack I could sneak onto, as long as I didn’t make a scene. Hard to do with a Koenigsegg CCXR Trevita, but I managed. Funny thing is, I won it in a poker game. The guy who lost it was about to be a dad. I still think about that sometimes.
Keys to the condo, the fob for the car, and the last thing — that was in the closet. I dated someone, once upon a time. Other than Glenn. They were about the same size, so it should’ve fit. In case it didn’t, I stuffed some money in an envelope and buried it in the suitcase with the clothes. I put the keys in my purse and went to bed hoping everything would be all right, though I already knew better.
I had to meet with the director of my level the next morning, so I tossed the keys in the top drawer and locked it. Put the suitcase behind his chair. I wasn’t hiding it; it was somewhere to put it. I left the address and the pictures of the condo and the car in the drawer too. Then I sent him a text: I got everything you needed. Good luck.
The board kept me busy with this file and that file getting every piece of nitty gritty they could find. I was never sure what their intention was, only that they were keeping me busy without cause.
I kept watch over Nathanael. I saw him change over time. Gone was the pot belly and messy hairstyle. In their place was a man with an athletic build, and short slicked-back hair. It made him look like a supermodel. He even grew a mustache and beard. Nothing hillbilly style, but taken care of so he looked clean and neat.
Then that day came. It was a day out of hell. Soldiers and master computers programmed to kill. Minirobots and RMC fighter jets armed with bullets and bombs. They weren’t toys. They were meant to kill.
A moment I would never forget. I somehow ended up in a hole with Nathanael next to me. I was never sure what happened to him, but whatever it was, scrambled his brain. Eyes wide open, looking everywhere around him, white knuckles, and his shaking legs. The words that came out of his mouth were too mumbled to understand. I didn’t have panic attacks so I couldn’t say that’s what happened. I could only hope at that point he would get better.
When everything finished, they had to shoot him with a tranquilizer to be able to get him into an ambulance. I rode along with him to County General. The receptionist had the phone in one hand, and greeted everybody with a clipboard in the other. I could swear I saw sparks fly when the printer printed.
The doctor came out, and scratched his bald head while he blew out a breath. Somewhere between all of his breaths, he mentioned that there wasn’t anybody on staff who could diagnosis Nathanael enough to give him treatment. So he was transferred ASAP to a mental clinic where they could offer a diagnosis.
The doctor gave me a card before he almost ran away. When I got back out to my car, I called the clinic. The woman on the other end, could only say he was admitted, and that maybe a proper diagnosis would be offered later that night.
According to the lady on the phone, Nathanael didn’t offer much cooperation between the screaming and the running. When he wore himself out, they were able to examine his mental status. I had to call back the following morning before I could speak to the doctor.
Perceptual manipulation was the diagnosis. Someone had distorted his sense of reality so much that he believed what he was doing was harmless. No intent, no awareness — only a manufactured belief that everything was fine.
That meant he needed serious psychological care, the kind of help the Office couldn’t — or wouldn’t — provide.
I had about a week before the paperwork caught up with him. One week to battle the Board. I spent that entire time fighting with them over medical insurance. Imagine that — insurance. Mine would cover Nathanael’s treatment. Theirs wouldn’t. All they had to do was drop him from their policy so I could put him under mine. It took a full week to get them to agree.
That’s where I was. It took two hours to cross the bridge, and get onto a dirt road that led to a mental facility. A facility for mental wellness and assistance, so read the sign.
I parked my car and locked it before I left. My purse was in my trunk so about the only thing I had on me were the keys. I signed in at the front desk and showed them my keys. The front desk clerk shook her head and put out a tray to put the keys in.
I walked down the hallway and read the white boards as I passed them. His room was at the end. Nathanael-9 AM- Dr. Skjoldbrannfjellhaugensdatter. Uhm yeah. He had Dr. S and his session should have finished since it was one o’clock.
I knocked on the door before I opened it. “Hi, Nathanael. It’s me. It’s Margaretta. Can I come in?”
He didn’t answser and I didn’t hear him walk towards me. I opened the door a little more to fit my head through. “Hi. There you are.”
He looked like a little kid with his hand by his chin half waving and the other sort of went up and down as he reached my face. The beard and mustache was still there and his hair grew a little more. “Hi. I’m Nathanael. You can come in if you want. I think you’re the first one.”
Gone was the overconfidant man who had strange conversations in the hallway. He held my cheek and rubbed it a couple times. He smiled after he did that. After the introduction, he didn’t say anything, only smiled.
We sort of stood there watching each other when a doctor stepped in. White hair, white beard and mustache, doctor’s jacket and white shirt, and those dark slacks. Every doctor I’ve ever met had that same outfit. I always thought that doctors took a class or something to get notes on the proper dress.
“Excuse me, Miss, may I have a word with you?” the doctor said.
“Sure,” I said. “I’ll meet you outside.” I watched him go. “It looks like the doctor wants to meet with me. The way the time is going right now, I’m going to leave right after that. OK? Don’t worry. I’ll be back.” I patted his cheek.
“You’re… you’re real? A grown up. Right?”
“Yup. All grown up and I promise I can drink.” Uh oh. I think I hit a nerve. It made him growl a bit. “OK. OK. I’m sorry.” I put my hand on his cheek. “Bad joke. I better go see what the doctor wants. I’ll let your grandfather know what’s going on as well.”
“All right. Thank you.” He started to stretch out his arms as if in a hug, but he put his arms down.
I went outside the room. “OK. Doc. What is it?”
“He’s stable, but he’s not progressing the way we hoped. He needs a more structured, longer-term environment. He will be moving to a Trauma Informed Residential Program. They’re calmer, quieter, and more humane than a hospital‑like facility. This won’t be a quick fix. The mind is a very complex thing, Ma’am. It will take time and nothing is ever perfect, but we can hope to achieve it. Should you have any questions, please wait until the transfer is final.”
After he turned around and walked away, I was left stunned. I heard every word he said, but I had no idea what he said. I knew with the drive back it would come to me. At that moment though, I wanted to go in, and pick up Nathanael, and throw him in my car. That wouldn’t help him at all. It could make things worse. I had to get back.
Monday morning, I got back to work. Of course, I worked in the Agent Area. Everybody could see everybody, but I had the feeling of being watched. It didn’t make sense to me, but it felt like everytime I moved somebody somewhere scrutinized that move. It felt like that all week. The work was basic paperwork. Get this file, get that file, be sure to deliver this to the director in Level Four sort of thing. I didn’t think anything about it.
It was Saturday, at last. A whole day to drive out and see Nathanael. I hoped the new facility was treating him better than the last one. At least heading that direction meant I didn’t have to cross the Chain Bridge — small mercies.
I was about to settle in for the long drive when I spotted two charcoal‑grey Toyota Corollas, identical right down to the darkened windows. Office cars. Of course. I wondered who they thought they were following today.
Maybe the Board was a little bored. Maybe they needed the field trip. Well… if they were going to tail me anyway, I could at least give them a scenic tour of D.C. Keep morale up. So I hit the highlights like the Lincoln Memorial, Washington Memorial, and of course we had to pass by the Smithsonian Museums. After making a turn to see the White House, they turned around and left. I guess they already saw it. Oh well.
I reached the facility at last. I left my purse in the trunk of my car and left my keys at the front desk after signing in. I found Nathanael’s room. On the right side, as opposed to the left in the last place, and in the middle. Nathanael Charlemagne was written on the white board.
I knocked on the door and poked my head in. “Hi, Nathanael. It’s me. It’s Margaretta.”
“Hi.” He walked to the door and pulled it open. As soon as I walked in he closed it. He wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. Not so tight that I couldn’t breathe, but tight. “It’s been a while. What happened? Did you get lost or something?” He scrunched his eyebrows.
“Well, they don’t allow visitors when you first move in. There’s a waiting period. I’m here now. How are you doing?”
“Me? I’m OK. The doctors don’t seem too optomistic about how things are progressing. It just feels like mu head is too stuffed. Or something. They keep telling me there will be a time when all of it will be released and then the real healing will begin.” He gave me a peck on the cheek. H shrugged.
“It’s all right.” I rubbed his shoulder. “Things will come around at some point. They said it might help if there are things in your room to help make it homey. Did you want any books or magazines? I could bring in some art supplies like crayons and paper?”
He shook his head. “No. I just want—I want—” He picked up a pillow and threw it. I ducked as it headed in my direction.
As soon as he turned around I left his room. A medical team came in right after I left the room.
It wasn’t going to be easy. They’ll teach him how to deal with all of that stuff in his head. Maybe when I find Avery again, she can help. In the meanwhile, maybe some time and distance is what’s needed.